Changing Decades

Obviously, I've been neglectful to my blog!  It's been almost a year since my last post.  Not that I haven't had thoughts banging around in my head the past year.  There have been plenty, they just not been recorded in print.  Do the drums beat louder when they get older because the ones in my head seem too.

This is the month I change the first digit in my age.  What is it about age that when the number is small we want it to be bigger and when it is bigger we want it to stop growing?  Remember saying 'I'm 9 1/2!"!  When was the last time you heard someone say "I'm 59 1/2!"?

When I first started this blog I was going to call it "Life in the 50's".  I put it out for opinions and a dear friend - I love you Jayne Whitworth! - suggested 'Life in the Sass Lane', on the premise that with my title suggestion, the title would have to be eventually changed.  And she didn't even know my nickname has been Aunt Sassy for years!

And now the time has come, said the walrus.  Moving into the 60's.

I remember being annoyed at turning 30 because I thought I meant I had to act like an adult.  Oh yeah, being married and have daughters age 7 and 8 didn't cause me to act like an adult.  Right.  

Forty didn't bother me.  I embraced it.  I found out someone was planning a black 40th party for me and I refused to go.  They changed the theme and made it festive and fun instead.  I appreciated that.  

I felt that 50 meant I'd earned a new level of respect, I felt I'd earned that and I was comfortable being 50.  In fact, I threw my own party that year.  I made the invites, made all the food and we spent the entire evening have a 4 course meal, enjoying the sweet company of a few close friends.

But 60 is clearly different.  No one is saying 60 is the new 40.  And we all know that it's too late to try and look as good as Jane Fonda.  I can have red hair like Susan Sarandon, but the secret acting dream is never going to happen.    And what kept Susan Lucci so thin?  Oh yeah, years of running after an Emmy.  And then there is Meryl Streep, she's defines stunning and strong as well as successful.

I'm trying to be healthy, not skinny.  I've pouring my acting dream into my blog.  You can't compare yourself to people who have had surgical help in looking good.  And step away, there's no way to even think about comparing myself to Meryl Streep.  Such a class act.

I guess I'm trying to figure out what defines me after 6 decades.  Let's start with the happy list.

Mark
I'm married to the greatest guy on the earth, my precious Marky.  He's been a good provider for our family, he's the most patient person I've ever met.  He's the ultimate handyman, there is nothing he can't fix or build.  He's become a fabulous sous chef and a great co-host for all the parties we throw.  He's the most honest man you'll ever meet.  If you look up 'good character' in the dictionary, it says Mark Baines!  He's a Bible scholar, and he's diligent in his studies.  And Mark's a great teacher whether he's teaching Bible truths or how to fix something.  Then there's that that - he's the best looking man I've ever laid eyes on - thing!

Tara and Rachael
We have 2 beautiful daughters who not only became amazing godly women that make us so proud, but married equally amazing godly men who have made a commitment to spend their lives teaching others about God.   And they've given us 5 fabulous grandchildren which we adore!  That topic is a whole nother blog!

Family
I have a precious extended family of parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles and cousins by the dozens. They have all had an important part in my life.

Friends
One of the advantages of living lots of places growing up, I have friends in lots of places!  To that list has to be added the precious friends that God put in my life since Mark and I have been married.  That list is too long for this blog.

Blessings
We miss our families, but being near our children and grandchildren cannot be described only as a huge blessing. That word isn't large enough.  We are thrilled to be a part of their lives, trying to do a bit for them that was done for us by our grandparents.  And there's no need to try and begin a comprehensive list of the rest of my blessings.

That leaves the unhappy list.  Life isn't perfect, things happen that are out of our control, people don't always do the right thing.  The problem with this truth is those incidents affect more than the people that do them, they affect the people around them.  We get covered in the fall out.  Things such as attending 3 high schools; as a child never living near family; divorce of parents, death of parents.  Oh yeah, then there was that whole cancer mess.  

I see that the happy is list is much larger and more important than the unhappy list.  I realize that's what really matters in life.

But I don't feel 60.  Heaven knows I try not to act 60!  I don't feel like we should be old enough to have younger siblings that have been married for 30 years, that our children are almost 40, or that we have siblings ready to retire!  I told the girls that the 5 years they were in college I felt I was on hold, waiting for the rest of our life.  They went 6 hours away to college so we didn't get to see them much except during the summer.  They both married a few months after graduating and then waited 7 years to have children.  So I feel like those 13 years I was in limbo waiting for the next phase and those years shouldn't count on my age.  I settle for 50!

I do remember staring down death ( that is spelled c-a-n-c-e-r).  Eight years ago.  I'm grateful to be breathing, I really don't need to be reminded of that.

I guess it's just that I've had in my head for what seems like forever that 60 means old.  Is that because you're clearly more than halfway done with life?  Is it because you look old?  Is it because you act old?  Is is because you're old fashioned?  Tho you must admit that some so called old fashioned standards should still be in practice.  Again, another blog topic!  Or is it because one has become set in their thoughts, not willing to adapt or to grow?

To maintain what is left of my sanity, I'm banking on that last sentence.  Truth be known, I don't want to live to 120.  Thanks to my fabulous Jordan Essentials products, I don't look old!  I'm certain I can get several witnesses that I don't act old!  If I did, I wouldn't have as many young friends as I do.  I work on keeping my house updated, it's no longer full of country style furnishings.  I don't wear granny looking clothes, tho I will readily admit to owning a few comfortable, sane shoes.  

If I examine my inner self carefully, I would say I've have learned more in the last 8 years than I can begin to express.  We moved to 'a city' and I've learned to be more respectful and appreciative of different cultures.  Listening to our son in laws and other fabulous preachers and teachers, I learned so much more about the Bible, about God, about what living a Christian life should look like.  I'm watching and learning what living by grace means.  In all areas of my life.  Because of the cancer journey, I feel like I'm less stressed about general stuff in life. 

They, whoever 'they' are, say there is a list of things you should not do in a 12 month period.  That list includes the list of what Mark and I did do, in 7 months.  I had cancer, Mark left his job of 29 years, we left our house we'd lived in for 20+ years, we moved across the country, away from our parents and all our siblings and life long friends.  And Mark's mother died.  And I watched the man of my life traverse through that mess with a calmness that simply blew me away!  I've always known Mark took life in stride and was never at a loss to know what to do.  As much as I loved him on April 16, 1977, it was no where near the deep love, admiration and appreciation I have for him now.  

So that's what I'm going to use to move into this next stage of life.  I have learned a lot and I  will be diligent to keep learning.  About God.  About grace.  About loving others.  About taking better care of myself.  About how to love on and help others more effectively.  About how to be a better manager of my time and resources.  About how to be a stronger and more effective leader in my business.  And how to love my Marky more!

Which I believe calls for a double celebration!  We're having 2  birthday parties.  One here in Reno with our children, grandchildren and local friends.  And one in Missouri with family and a few precious Jordan friends, who truly are family to me.  

I've always been one to go overboard when it comes to celebrating!