This post is obviously a tad bit late for Father's Day, but fathers are important all year long, not just one day of year. The depth of this thought was reinforced with the recent passing of Mark's dad.
Mark's dad had been sick for some months. His prostate cancer came back and then became bone cancer. He participated in a new treatment, which possibly prolonged his life, but did not cure the cancer.
He was at home, taking care of himself, with assistance from his children and their spouses. It got to be too much and home health care came to help. Lee decided he needed to be where there was 24 hour care, he was taken to a nursing home on a Monday and passed on Saturday of that week.
Mark was able to make it home before his dad died and spent all night Friday with him, reading scripture to him and praying over him.
As the five children of Lee and Flo Baines sat around sharing stories, the true character of Lee and Flo Baines became so evident.
I have known no one who loved their wife more than Lee did. He adored Flo and would do anything for her. And he did. Flo didn't ask for lots of frivolous things. She had lived through the depression and World War II and learned to be content with simple things, basic necessities of life. After their children were grown and there was more time and finances available, they did all sorts of things together. They took lots of senior citizens trips and saw lots of places they'd never had the opportunity to see before. Flo did all the planning and Lee was thrilled to go on such great trips with the love of his life.
It was painful for Lee when Flo became sick. She had confusing symptoms in 2000 and in 2001 was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She did chemo and two rounds of radiation. The process made her weak and unsteady. She fell and broke her hip and needed constant attention. Lee sat many hours in the living room with Flo. She didn't understand she needed the walker to get around and would try to get up without it. Eventually, he was doing more and more for her, including picking her up and putting her in bed at night. Granted, Flo was short and by this point, much thinner than she'd ever been. But Lee was 80 years old, he didn't need to be picking her up. But he did and never complained. Eventually, despite Lee's desire to take care of Flo, she was taken to a nursing home, where she spent the last year and a half of her life. And so did Lee. He went and sat by her bed every day. At first he got there in time to feed Flo breakfast. The staff convinced him they could do that, so he would come mid morning and he stayed until she was in bed. Every day that she was there. No one loved his wife more than Lee Baines.
For quite some time after Flo's death, Lee went to the cemetery every day. Later he went every week.
No one loved his wife more than Lee Baines.
No one enjoyed working more than Lee. He was thankful to have a means to support his lovely family. Mark has told stories of Dad working at the garage he owned and then coming home and working on things around the house.
Lee built their home with supplies from a retired army base. It was just what they needed, nothing more. As more children were born, extra space was added. But not excessive space, just the right amount.
For family camping trips, Lee built a camper. He made it entirely himself. Even sewing the tarps on the side. He wanted to take the family camping, but didn't want to spend unnecessary money when he could make the camper himself and enjoy the process!
Until technology changed everything, Lee made all the televisions the family had. Ordered a kit, all the little pieces and wires and tubes, then put it all together! And the Baines family had the first color tv on the block. He more than kept the family up with the Joneses, he passed them up!
Lee made all sorts of things for Flo. She started collecting little treasures on their trips and he built a case to display them in. He built two entertainment centers. Fabulous, sturdy pieces of furniture.
Lee was not a talkative man. His love language was service to others. He helped all of us work on our houses, some of us more than once! He made personalized things for each of us. Some of us have a beautiful china cabinet he built with our design ideas. I gave him a 2x2 picture and sizes and received a lovely cabinet. Some of his grandchildren have special things he built for them.
Lee Baines lived a life of service to others. He served his country. He served his family. He served others. A greater tribute could not be said!
He never asked for anything. When his birthday, Father's Day and Christmas would roll around each year, it was impossible to get him to tell us anything he'd like to have. He really wanted for nothing. His basic needs were met, he was content with that and desired nothing more. Just to be with his beloved wife, children and grandchildren.
The five Baines siblings shared stories of Mom and her entertaining. They loved to have friends over and play games, laugh and enjoy each other. They didn't spend excessive money on entertainment, but they loved sharing good times with their friends.
As Mark and I reflected on these things, we came to some conclusions. Mom and Dad had what they needed. They were careful with their money, used it wisely, yet were not in need of anything. We've done some soul/budget searching since we got home and are making some changes. There have been some items in our life that were nice, slightly excessive, but clearly not necessary and we are deleting as much of it as we can. We want our grandchildren to see that we used our resources wisely to provide for our needs, but that the focus of our life was to worship and serve God and do so by loving our family.
I realized afresh that I am one of the ones that personally benefited from Lee's character. You see, Mark Baines is so much like his dad. Yes, he looks more like Lee than his brothers do. But his character is clearly a reflection of what he learned from his dad. No human could love me more than my Marky. And I know, I'm not always lovable. But Mark is the most patient, kind, compassionate man I know. And he loves me unconditionally. I'd not grown up with that kind of love from my dad, so I had a difficult time learning to accept it from Mark. And I'm still learning. But I'm loving it and resting in it!
And like his Dad, Mark never asks for anything! His favorite conversation goes like this. "What do you want for _____". Fill in the blank - Christmas, birthday, Father's Day, just because. Mark's pat answer is "Peace on earth, good will towards man." Mark is content with his life, he desires for nothing, just time with his little family.
How blessed am I! I'm so thankful for the man Mark Baines is. I'm so blown away that I get to do life with him and be touched by his sweetness, love and compassion. Mark serves me. Mark serves our family. Mark serves others. A greater tribute could not be said!
I'm blessed because Lee Baines loved his wife, loved his family and lived a simple peaceful life of contentment.
