October - Breast Cancer

Okay, so it’s October.  I guess I should write about breast cancer.  Must say though, it’s really not my favorite subject.  Clearly, I know more about it than I’d like to. 

Actually, I don’t feel as though I suffered that much with it, I really don’t have a lot to complain or whine about.  I had a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy, so no need for reconstructive surgery and recovery.  I did a month of daily radiation.  I only did 4 chemo treatments.

The initial shock, scare and fear were very real, that’s for sure.  We did all the above, except for the chemo, in the process of moving.  So there wasn’t much time to think about it.   I had too much packing to do!

During the chemo treatments, several people suggested I go to a support group.  I looked into it and actually called and chatted with a lady that led a Christian group.  I never went.  I was trying, tho not always successfully, to be upbeat and have a positive attitude. As I thought about attending a group, I decided I didn’t want to sit around and talk about the cancer.   Besides, I’ve been married to my therapist for years!  He’d gotten me through dealing with childhood baggage, finding my self esteem, my parent’s divorce and other issues in life.  We got this.

It just wasn’t a topic I wanted to talk about it.  I wanted to get on with my life and focus on other things.  I have a wedding to go to!  That’s the title of my book I’ve written, and actually, now I have 5 weddings to go to – eventually.

We bought everything there was that was pink the first couple of years.  Especially in October.  Every store had items with pink handles and such.  I did do the Relay for Life one year. 

I’ve tried to offer comfort and encouragement to others dealing with breast cancer.  I’ve been known to speak to strangers and reassure them that the hair does grow back.

This year I went to an luncheon put on by a breast cancer survivor to remember those that lost their battle, encourage those in the middle of the battle and celebrate those done with the process.  I could have participated in the ‘walk’ they did, but I don’t like doing something when I don’t know what is going to happen.  So I sat at the table with a few friends from my networking group and the walk starts.  Those that have had breast cancer are introduced, they tell how many years since their diagnosis and then they walked out to music and through a line of cheerleaders waving their pom poms. 

I was pretty calm with the first few.  Then I started getting really emotional.  Some were new to the journey, wearing scarfs or hats or were comfortable with their bald heads.  Some were over 20 years out.  Those made me cry.  What scared me the most when talking with the doctor was they would only talk about the next 5 years.  I needed to hear that there were women who had survived many years after the breast cancer.

Some were very young.  Those made me cry too.  One of our daughter’s very young friends had recently passed after 2 bouts of breast cancer in about 2 years. 

Some had 2 dates – they had been diagnosed twice!  Gotta tell ya, that is one thing all cancer patients are afraid of.  You do the surgery, radiation, chemo, prevention meds with horrible side effects and then . . . it comes back!

I went to this event to show support for this dealing with breast cancer.  Though I didn’t expect to be so deeply moved.

February 2006 was when I got the news I had breast cancer.  By the second week in November 2006 I had finished my last chemo treatment.  So I’ve been cancer free for 8 years.  So grateful to be past the 5 year mark.

Sometimes I need to be reminded of what I’ve been through to help me remember how well my family and friends took care of me.   I need to be reminded how much my God has blessed me through this and how my faith helped me through the difficult days.  I need to be reminded I GET to be 60 and to live my life aware and grateful for my blessings.