Part II of My Testimony

See previous post for Part 1.

Raymond resigned the church before school started my senior year.  So I begin my Senior year with a bad case of ‘I don’t care’.  And it got worse.  I moved again 2 weeks before 1^st semester exams. 

In this new town, 3 hours away, I had one Christian friend at school.  It was a bigger town and a much bigger school.  I still have nightmares about being lost in the building, can’t remember my class schedule, can’t find my locker, can’t remember the lock number. The church met in a tiny very old building.  I looked in the basement.  Once.  I was not going down there!  I really can’t recall anyone that was pouring into me at this point.  However, my attitude was not welcoming to such.  I was angry at God and felt I had good reason to be.  

As a senior in High School, I became the church pianist.  God’s music was really the only biblical thing that was going into my head.

But it wasn’t enough.  When I graduated, I began hanging around a different crowd, and not a better one.  I was leading a double life – partying like crazy, and then at my piano bench at 10:30 Sunday mornings.  No one called me on it.  Churches didn’t usually teach or practice that kind of loving church discipline.  And there was literally no one else in the church that could do my job. 

My parents moved again, I stayed in an apartment.  Which was not a good choice, as the choices I was making in my life were becoming more destructive.  I eventually moved back in with my parents.  And immediately there was a need for a church pianist!  Guess who got that job?

I was still living a double life, sometimes it was a close call to get to my bench on time on Sunday morning because I’d been out all night.

But this is where I met the love of my life, my Marky.  We started dating and one night we almost got killed at a railroad crossing.  Okay, God had my attention now!  I asked him if he knew where he was going if he died.  He thought so.  He started going to church with me on Sunday morning.  After some time, he asked Jesus to be a personal part of his life.  We were married 5 months later.

We were still not living like we should, but we were making progress.  And we had people pouring into our lives, living out an example of a Christian life as they knew best.

Mark and I moved to the next little town up the road and started going to church there.  That’s where things began to really change.  Mark was so hungry for truth in the Scriptures that he started meeting weekly with the pastor for discipleship.  We attended a couple marriage seminars, which were fabulous.  We participated in a 12 week discipleship training.  We had lots of people in the church and surrounding churches that were loving on us, teaching us, caring about us. 

After over 25 years at this church, we changed churches.  Hope.  That was the name of the church and it gave us hope.  We’d had too many responsibilities at the previous church.  We hadn’t learned how to rest in the comfort of the presence of our Savior.  We did at Hope and God placed some amazing people in our lives that became dear friends.  They loved on us and encouraged us in so many ways. 

I began doing Beth Moore Bible studies.  And her studies will change you!  I begin to see a different view of how God wanted me to live.  It wasn’t about performance, it was an attitude of gratitude. 

Then God added 2 new preachers in our life – our son in laws.  And listening to them, we began to see a clearer view of what living a Christian life looked like.   

In 2006 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was a difficult time in my life, I won’t lie about that.  But God sent special people to love in my during that time.

One lady, Barb Humphrey, was the most important one.  She’d been our neighbor over 20 years.  She’d had a liver transplant 15 years earlier, but it was failing.  I got pneumonia and was so sick, I literally couldn’t talk.  Barb called me to encourage me!  She knew she was dying but she was compelled to call me.  To tell me I’d been a great mother, that God was going to take care of me, that we were going to go to Reno and that I would be a fabulous grandmother.  There are no words to describe what that call meant to me.

God did take care of me through the cancer journey, we did move to Reno and I’m working on being that fabulous grandmother!

We’ve been in Reno 8 years and God has sent so many people that have loved on us, taught us so much, blessed us in so many ways. And we are eternally grateful to each and every one of them.

So, there are 2 ways of looking back at your life.  You can look for only the negative, unhappy things.  And everyone will have those.  No one is perfect, so you’ll never be surrounded by perfection.  And you won’t be an example of perfection either.  So there will be consequences in life. 

Or, you can look at things with an eye for searching for God.  It’s like the game of ‘Where’s Waldo’, only much better.  When you make God your focus, you can see who he has sent to love you, protect you, to teach you.  And those are the things that make the important difference in your life.  More importantly, make sure you are being that person for those in your life.  You can make a difference!

My Testimony - Part I

Mark and I lead a small group, we call them community groups at our church, on Sunday afternoons.  And as way to teach people how to give their testimony and to make sure people understand the meaning of being a Christian, we take turns telling our testimony to the group.  Even tho the people in the group have changed somewhat,  not all have heard my testimony, I like to change it up a bit each time.

This time, I chose to make my focus 'where can I see God in my past'.  As I'm almost 60, as noted in my last post, this look back covered a lot of time.  I was concise as possible, but it is still a bit lengthy.  So I'll be sharing it here in 2 parts.

Part 1.

My Testimony

This testimony is a view of how God protected me in my life and sent people on that mission.  I refer to my dad as Raymond.

I was born in Mt. Vernon, Illinois.  As a toddler, I remember listening to church music on my mother’s small record player.  Raymond was the pastor of a church at Richview.  The one huge thing I remember was when a group of singers came to that church and they sang gospel music. Fabulous 4 part, tight harmony.  They sounded like angels to me!

We later moved to a tiny town in central Illinois, but were there for only a few months.  Then we moved down the road outside Decatur, IL.    While there, I was a part of a missionary, teaching group called Sunbeams.

This is the song we sang every week.

            Sunbeam

                        Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam

                        To shine for him each day

                        In every way try to please him

                        At home, at school, at play

                        A sunbeam, a sunbeam

                        Jesus wants me for a sunbeam

                        A sunbeam, a sunbeam

                        I’ll be a sunbeam for him.

This had a huge impact on me.  It really was teaching me to love Jesus and to live for him.  Though I didn’t really know what that meant yet.  Our leader in Sunbeams was Wanda Stickles.  She showered unconditional love on me. 

Later I was in Girls in Action – GA’s.  I memorized lots of scriptures and had leaders that loved on me.  We had foreign missionaries in our home and I developed a love for missions, for telling people about Jesus.

There were lots of kind, loving preachers in my life.  One in particular was Paul Higgins.  He and Raymond were close and he was at our house often.  Every time he came over, he said to my younger brother, ‘Share your toys, Karl!’.  But I heard him too and it had a huge impact on how I viewed my things.  Many years later I organized a craft group and the name of our group was ‘Share Your Toys’.

In the middle of 3^rd grade, we moved again, 30 miles down the road to another small town.  I was still involved in GA’s, learning lots.  Though, I can’t really remember anyone in particular that was pouring Jesus into my life then.  Except the preachers that came to our house, which still included Paul Higgins.

In the middle of 6^th grade, we moved to Nashville, IL.  Another small town of about 3,000 people.  Being the new kid at school in a small town where everyone had always lived there, and they knew everyone and already had friends was difficult, to say the very least!  But there were people God put in that church that lavished me with love.

While living in Decatur, Sullivan and Nashville we participated in summer church camp.  I was in my element then!  I loved it.  Lots of music, great preaching, everyone there was comfortable talking about God.  I was one of the preacher kids, so I got treated well, an unusual thing for me.  I spent all my free time in the craft room.  I made woven baskets – it seemed the world had gone full circle years later when I was selling baskets.  I made every little craft thing there was.  Every year. Church camp was always the highlight of my year.

Joanne was a single mom with younger children at the church in Nashville.  But she took on the GA’s and we spent a lot of time with her.  She loved on us, taught us biblical truths and lived an example of what love and grace was. 

There was another man who was in our home a lot.  He was so kind, so sincerely loving.  Years later after I was married and had kids, I had an opportunity to tell him what an impact he had on my life.  He had no idea.  I told him it wasn’t something specific he said or did.  It was just I felt covered in compassionate, sincere love and grace when he was around.

And then there was Eddie Kemper.  He was the church custodian and we lived next door to the church.  In the summer humidity and heat, he’d be out mowing the church lawn.  My mother would bake a peach cobbler and invite him in for a slice and some iced tea.  He was always so grateful and kind.  The church was a typical old building that had a steeple with a bell in it, which was rung at 9 am on Sunday mornings.  My younger brother was 8 or 9 and he would get ready for church early and Eddie would let him ride the large, long rope that rang the bell.  Karl loved it.

We moved again, the summer after my Sophmore year, 2 weeks before my 16^th birthday to Robinson.   I didn’t do well with this move.  I cried myself to sleep for weeks.  Recently I found a 3 page handwritten letter that Eddie Kemper’s wife had sent to me.  She said she’d heard I was depressed about moving, was crying a lot.  She told me it broke her heart to think of me so sad.  She reminded me that Jesus loved me, He would take care of me and to take comfort in that.  What a treasure!  I made Christian friends outside of our church in this town.  I was clearly breaking out of my comfort zone!  I’d always just hung out with the kids at our church.  I begin to learn that there were Christians in other denominations.  There was a high school Christian band and all my friends were the groupies.   We started a before school weekly Bible study.   Summer camp after Junior year was huge in changing how I viewed what living a Christian life looked like.  

Stayed tuned for part 2

Changing Decades

Obviously, I've been neglectful to my blog!  It's been almost a year since my last post.  Not that I haven't had thoughts banging around in my head the past year.  There have been plenty, they just not been recorded in print.  Do the drums beat louder when they get older because the ones in my head seem too.

This is the month I change the first digit in my age.  What is it about age that when the number is small we want it to be bigger and when it is bigger we want it to stop growing?  Remember saying 'I'm 9 1/2!"!  When was the last time you heard someone say "I'm 59 1/2!"?

When I first started this blog I was going to call it "Life in the 50's".  I put it out for opinions and a dear friend - I love you Jayne Whitworth! - suggested 'Life in the Sass Lane', on the premise that with my title suggestion, the title would have to be eventually changed.  And she didn't even know my nickname has been Aunt Sassy for years!

And now the time has come, said the walrus.  Moving into the 60's.

I remember being annoyed at turning 30 because I thought I meant I had to act like an adult.  Oh yeah, being married and have daughters age 7 and 8 didn't cause me to act like an adult.  Right.  

Forty didn't bother me.  I embraced it.  I found out someone was planning a black 40th party for me and I refused to go.  They changed the theme and made it festive and fun instead.  I appreciated that.  

I felt that 50 meant I'd earned a new level of respect, I felt I'd earned that and I was comfortable being 50.  In fact, I threw my own party that year.  I made the invites, made all the food and we spent the entire evening have a 4 course meal, enjoying the sweet company of a few close friends.

But 60 is clearly different.  No one is saying 60 is the new 40.  And we all know that it's too late to try and look as good as Jane Fonda.  I can have red hair like Susan Sarandon, but the secret acting dream is never going to happen.    And what kept Susan Lucci so thin?  Oh yeah, years of running after an Emmy.  And then there is Meryl Streep, she's defines stunning and strong as well as successful.

I'm trying to be healthy, not skinny.  I've pouring my acting dream into my blog.  You can't compare yourself to people who have had surgical help in looking good.  And step away, there's no way to even think about comparing myself to Meryl Streep.  Such a class act.

I guess I'm trying to figure out what defines me after 6 decades.  Let's start with the happy list.

Mark
I'm married to the greatest guy on the earth, my precious Marky.  He's been a good provider for our family, he's the most patient person I've ever met.  He's the ultimate handyman, there is nothing he can't fix or build.  He's become a fabulous sous chef and a great co-host for all the parties we throw.  He's the most honest man you'll ever meet.  If you look up 'good character' in the dictionary, it says Mark Baines!  He's a Bible scholar, and he's diligent in his studies.  And Mark's a great teacher whether he's teaching Bible truths or how to fix something.  Then there's that that - he's the best looking man I've ever laid eyes on - thing!

Tara and Rachael
We have 2 beautiful daughters who not only became amazing godly women that make us so proud, but married equally amazing godly men who have made a commitment to spend their lives teaching others about God.   And they've given us 5 fabulous grandchildren which we adore!  That topic is a whole nother blog!

Family
I have a precious extended family of parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles and cousins by the dozens. They have all had an important part in my life.

Friends
One of the advantages of living lots of places growing up, I have friends in lots of places!  To that list has to be added the precious friends that God put in my life since Mark and I have been married.  That list is too long for this blog.

Blessings
We miss our families, but being near our children and grandchildren cannot be described only as a huge blessing. That word isn't large enough.  We are thrilled to be a part of their lives, trying to do a bit for them that was done for us by our grandparents.  And there's no need to try and begin a comprehensive list of the rest of my blessings.

That leaves the unhappy list.  Life isn't perfect, things happen that are out of our control, people don't always do the right thing.  The problem with this truth is those incidents affect more than the people that do them, they affect the people around them.  We get covered in the fall out.  Things such as attending 3 high schools; as a child never living near family; divorce of parents, death of parents.  Oh yeah, then there was that whole cancer mess.  

I see that the happy is list is much larger and more important than the unhappy list.  I realize that's what really matters in life.

But I don't feel 60.  Heaven knows I try not to act 60!  I don't feel like we should be old enough to have younger siblings that have been married for 30 years, that our children are almost 40, or that we have siblings ready to retire!  I told the girls that the 5 years they were in college I felt I was on hold, waiting for the rest of our life.  They went 6 hours away to college so we didn't get to see them much except during the summer.  They both married a few months after graduating and then waited 7 years to have children.  So I feel like those 13 years I was in limbo waiting for the next phase and those years shouldn't count on my age.  I settle for 50!

I do remember staring down death ( that is spelled c-a-n-c-e-r).  Eight years ago.  I'm grateful to be breathing, I really don't need to be reminded of that.

I guess it's just that I've had in my head for what seems like forever that 60 means old.  Is that because you're clearly more than halfway done with life?  Is it because you look old?  Is it because you act old?  Is is because you're old fashioned?  Tho you must admit that some so called old fashioned standards should still be in practice.  Again, another blog topic!  Or is it because one has become set in their thoughts, not willing to adapt or to grow?

To maintain what is left of my sanity, I'm banking on that last sentence.  Truth be known, I don't want to live to 120.  Thanks to my fabulous Jordan Essentials products, I don't look old!  I'm certain I can get several witnesses that I don't act old!  If I did, I wouldn't have as many young friends as I do.  I work on keeping my house updated, it's no longer full of country style furnishings.  I don't wear granny looking clothes, tho I will readily admit to owning a few comfortable, sane shoes.  

If I examine my inner self carefully, I would say I've have learned more in the last 8 years than I can begin to express.  We moved to 'a city' and I've learned to be more respectful and appreciative of different cultures.  Listening to our son in laws and other fabulous preachers and teachers, I learned so much more about the Bible, about God, about what living a Christian life should look like.  I'm watching and learning what living by grace means.  In all areas of my life.  Because of the cancer journey, I feel like I'm less stressed about general stuff in life. 

They, whoever 'they' are, say there is a list of things you should not do in a 12 month period.  That list includes the list of what Mark and I did do, in 7 months.  I had cancer, Mark left his job of 29 years, we left our house we'd lived in for 20+ years, we moved across the country, away from our parents and all our siblings and life long friends.  And Mark's mother died.  And I watched the man of my life traverse through that mess with a calmness that simply blew me away!  I've always known Mark took life in stride and was never at a loss to know what to do.  As much as I loved him on April 16, 1977, it was no where near the deep love, admiration and appreciation I have for him now.  

So that's what I'm going to use to move into this next stage of life.  I have learned a lot and I  will be diligent to keep learning.  About God.  About grace.  About loving others.  About taking better care of myself.  About how to love on and help others more effectively.  About how to be a better manager of my time and resources.  About how to be a stronger and more effective leader in my business.  And how to love my Marky more!

Which I believe calls for a double celebration!  We're having 2  birthday parties.  One here in Reno with our children, grandchildren and local friends.  And one in Missouri with family and a few precious Jordan friends, who truly are family to me.  

I've always been one to go overboard when it comes to celebrating!